I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
