hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
