You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
