SEEEEXXX PLEASE
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
