found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
