for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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