But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
