anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
