The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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