i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
