What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
