guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
