I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
