Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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