super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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