I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
