And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
