A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
