I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
