But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
