some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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