woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
third nipple confirmed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
