am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
