There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
