go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
