Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
