Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's like iHOP with fire
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
