Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
