i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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