dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize