dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
