i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it glows. i had to have it.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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