Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
