sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
