I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
