I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
