i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
