Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
