smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
