What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize