Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
