dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
