You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
