Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
