Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
