thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize