I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
