I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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