I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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