You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
