If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
