Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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