wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
ttyl tear gas
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
